Defeating Homesickness

It wasn’t until after I closed my dorm room door after hugging my parents goodbye that I realized I was completely independent for the first time in my life. I climbed onto my bed, laid down, and placed my hands together over my racing heart in an attempt to process all the emotions I was feeling. At that moment, I had possessed my driver’s license for nearly two years; so the concept of existing without parental supervision was not novel. Reflecting on it now, I understand that it was my subconscious wrangling with the reality that I had to exist completely independently for the first time, and I was frightened.

All I wanted to do for the first month at RIT was return home. RIT was the perfect school for me, and the rational part of my brain knew that, but I was scared to let go of the direct safety net of home. Unrolling the covers every morning and completing my morning routine was initially a struggle, since there was no one in my family to knock on my bedroom door and verify that I had woken up. I had the freedom to rot in my dorm bed and skip my classes if I desired. Abruptly having complete control over my daily routine was a challenging transition from the familiarity of home.

After a desperate phone call with my mom a few weeks into my first semester, we implemented a system that calmed my intractable emotions. I would arrange time to make at least one phone call per week to update my parents on the status of my semester, ideally on the weekends. Scheduling those phone calls gave me something to look forward to at the end of the week — a hint of familiarity in a novel, overwhelming environment. It was the difference between struggling with no direction on the weekends and having someone to do.

The beauty of scheduling phone calls with a loved one is that they don’t specifically have to be with your parents if you have a strained or no relationship with them. You can call your siblings, aunts and uncles, grandparents, significant other, best friends, or anyone that you’re comfortable sharing personal stories with. Within those conversations, focus on sharing the new experiences of the past week and elaborate the assignments you’re working on. Your loved one will want to hear about all the work you’re doing, all the new people you’ve met, and the events being held on campus.

Beyond the phone calls, I still had six other days of the week to survive. My advice as a fourth-year student with an established friend group is start searching for your brand of weird people. RIT has over 20,000 students enrolled on-campus, with 3,500 of them as incoming first-year students such as yourself. Statistically, it’s nearly certain that people similar to you exist on the campus in some form. I would recommend browsing the list of clubs first on CampusGroups and seeing if anything interests you there. Take note of the clubs that intrigue you and find the contact information of an officer. Nearly all clubs have a public Discord, but the link might not be posted on their CampusGroups page, therefore messaging an officer for the invite is frequently the best method.

Another aspect of socializing that helped me was keeping in touch with my friends from high school. It was refreshing to catch up with them and see how their college experiences were going. They were just as overwhelmed as I was, which made me feel a lot more normal. We were able to play video games together, which gave me an outlet when I felt nervous to join a new club. Speaking to my friends that I had known for years was gratifying in the sense that I could share how I was truly feeling about my classes and college experience. Because I was starting to make new friends, I wasn't as comfortable around them as my older friends. It felt incredibly relieving to let my guard down socially.

Part of adjusting to life on a college campus is learning how to support your health and well-being in a new environment. At RIT, we have a wide variety of services and resources available to help you do just that. From physical and emotional health to accessibility, we are here to help.

You will overcome the homesickness of your freshman year. You will become more acclimated to RIT, your classes, your friends, and the world will begin to open up around you. It's ok to stumble and feel insecure at the beginning. Be patient with yourself and give yourself the time to learn and grow. You can't possibly know how to operate independently until you do it for a while. These feelings will pass, and you will thrive at RIT!