Student Safety is Parent Priority

By Theresa Johnson, NTID regional representative and proud parent of an RIT/NTID alumna

I vividly remember the day I left my daughter on campus. Like most parents, I was lamenting how quickly she had grown up and how we got to this day so soon. I was going home to an empty nest and was thinking about the adjustments I would need to make in the next few weeks and months. I left my daughter with lots of reminders: don’t forget to do this, don’t forget to take care of that. I went on and on with cautionary tales about what to do to stay safe.

Safety. “Above all else, be well and be safe,” I said. “Be aware that you are a petite female, and you are deaf.”Look around you, don’t be so trusting, always be with others, never be alone.”I said these things repeatedly, hoping that, in spite of the eye rolling, she would internalize these cautions and be safe. She would say I’mand overprotective. Maybe. But, like most parents leaving their student at a school thousands of miles away from home, I worried.

To ease my fears, I asked my daughter to text daily. She said she was too busy. REALLY?? I just need you to text: I. M. O.K. Four letters. How long does that take???? She begrudgingly did it. I insisted that she activate the Find My Friend app so that I could always see where she was located. She did it. Actually, we negotiated a deal. I also activated it so she could see where I was as well. I suggested it was a way for us to take care of each other. If I did not see that text, I would text asking if she was ok. It was, to say the least, a stressful time.

All of that went on for the first semester or so as I watched to be sure she was being safe, making responsible decisions and doing the right things. I started to relax, and if I did not get a text one day, I waited for the next day. She was pretty good about keeping me posted at least every couple of days. She lived on campus and did not have a car, so I felt she was as cocooned as possible. Then, she came home for summer and convincingly argued that she needed a car. What??? We live in the south. We have never driven in snow or ice. More safety issues to worry about. And soon after returning to campus in her car, she said she wanted to move off campus. Another hit. Another long list of safety issues that worried me. But she would have roommates and live close to campus. Again, she had good reasons, smart plans and a mature strategy for making this happen. I still worried about her safety. Would they remember to lock their doors, would they be careful with fire safety, how close would they be to the police and fire stations?

Now that she is graduated, employed and living independently in Rochester, still so far from home, I have come to realize that I will always and forever worry about her safety. However, I have also realized that I raised a smart girl. I worked hard to instill good practices, an understanding of safe and smart living and problem-solving skills for when she is in a serious situation. She texts several times a week, and we FaceTime often. She still asks my advice when faced with some problems, and I am so glad she feels comfortable with asking. I realize that a big part of being safe is being aware, which happens during those years at home. Problem solving, critical thinking, thinking things through rather than being impulsive—so many skills that, if learned over years at home, will be in their tool box once they leave home. 

As a parent, I will always worry. Most parents do. But, if your student has prepared their “safety tool box” with good common sense, the ability to solve problems and stay level headed in a crisis situation, they will have many of the strategies needed to remain as safe as possible, wherever they may live. So, to those parents who have students away from home, yes, you will worry. But, if you have taught them well, they will know to use their best judgement when you are not there to protect them. If your student needs more work in this area, use every opportunity when they come home, when you communicate during the semester, to teach them what to do. I also suggest that you do not hurry to solve a problem for them, but give them some time to solve it themselves. They will grow from learning on their own. A few strategies that I have worked on with my daughter in preparation for a safe adult life are:

  • Create an emergency first aid tool box for the home, including a checklist of what those items are (so it is easy to replace when needed). Make sure it is portable, so it can be moved from place to place.
  • Create an emergency first aid tool box for the car, again with a check list. Be sure you emphasize the importance of not only the essentials for the car, but also water, emergency food items, blankets, umbrella/rain poncho, extra warm socks and shoes. 
    • I would also add to this the importance of teaching our students how to address car maintenance. Oil changes, tire rotation, snow tires, and more are essential skills and tools that ensure a safer car.
  • Create an emergency contact list that they post on a door, mirror, etc. that includes fire department, police department, campus safety, urgent care center, and other important numbers 
    • Even better if they also add the contact information into their phones.
  • Talk about the reporting process for crimes on campus as well as what to do if something happens off campus. Emphasize the importance of saying no and not permitting anyone to do anything harmful to them. Talk about the benefit of being with a group rather than alone on and off campus.
  • Talk about how to get out of situations that may be dangerous or become unsafe. What to do, what to say, and what could be the potential consequences are all important things to talk about.
  • Be sure your student understands the function of campus safety officers, how to contact them and how they can protect and advise on safety issues. 
    • Also, students should know they can report an unsafe situation to any staff or faculty member on campus and ask for assistance.
  • Be sure your student is familiar with campus emergency call boxes that are installed in parking lots, near walkways, and other areas on campus. 
  • Help your student understand that both male and female students can find themselves in unsafe circumstances. All too often there is this false notion that males are not at risk when that is far from the truth. It is of equal importance for ALL students to be safe.

This list is a brief example of dozens of strategies to implement in daily life to help students be as safe as possible. We, as parents, know there are many risks in daily life, and there is only so much we can do to protect our children. The best thing we can do is teach them as many skills and strategies as possible give our student many opportunities to solve problem situations, avoid risky or dangerous situations; and help them be as prepared as is possible. And, if they are willing to do it, have them text you daily with an I.M.O.K., just so you can rest a bit better each night. Talk to them about what they are comfortable with. Smile… our students will survive in spite of our worries. But remember, the better equipped they are to be safe, the safer they will be as young adults in this big world.